Are you in the Why or How?
- Brie Streker
- Jul 4, 2022
- 4 min read
If there is one thing I love, it is a good walk down memory lane. I love re-reading old journals and coming to understand the things that I went through.
Think back to a time of your life when it felt like everything was falling apart, nothing made sense, your heart was heavy. Maybe this is your current state, and if it is, please know I am sending you love! When you are "in the trenches" it often makes no sense.
Take my life as an example:
When I was in my early 20's, I was in an extremely abusive relationship. Every time we broke up, we got back together - which made no sense as to why (at the time.)
When I began dating my ex-husband it again became abusive. I get asked "why didn't you just leave?" Which honestly, is probably one of the most hurtful things you can say to someone who is being abused. But that is probably another post for another day. It didn't make sense that I stayed with him...until much later.
When that marriage imploded, it made no sense why we reconciled, until later.
Nothing makes sense until it does.
When you find yourselves in the valleys, and you are full of despair, sadness and anger, I bet you ask WHY.
WHY is this happening to me?
WHY are they treating me this way?
WHY is everything so unfair?
WHY am I suffering?
Or some other version of these.
But instead, I implore you to ask HOW.
HOW do I want to remember this?
HOW do I want to show up for myself?
HOW do I desire to move through this?
HOW would I move through this if I had all the answers?
By asking HOW instead of WHY, you begin move the power back into yourself. You take back your control and begin to design a life that is full of beauty. A life where you can be in a season of "HOW", yet still enjoy the present epicness.
There are things happening beneath the surface that are aligning you to everything you have ever desired. On the surface, it may feel and look like everything is falling apart. You may lose a job, a friendship, a relationship.
It hurts, I know it does. I am no stranger to this. In fact, 2022 has been a year for the record books when it comes to this.
But I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. Everything happens to teach me a lesson about myself, to show me where I am out of alignment with my dreams or values. Every interaction is a mirror that exists to present me with a beautiful opportunity for growth.
But I can't experience the growth, if I actively choose to stay in the WHY. I must be willing to look at my HOW, even when it is difficult.
On the surface, it probably won't make sense. But one day I promise you it will.
Let's take the ending of my marriage:
I was so scared when he asked for a divorce, and after a while we reconciled - which made no sense.
Yet, when I look at where I am, it all makes sense.
If we hadn't reconciled:
* I wouldn't have received what I did in the divorce. I wouldn't have been able to purchase my apartment, pay off my debt.
* I would have stayed in pure victim mode, the survivor of a (probable but not diagnosed) narcissistic relationship.
* I wouldn't have discovered my true boundaries and what I actually desired for not only my life, but with a romantic partner.
* I certainly wouldn't have found my voice.
* I wouldn't have had the strength to finally end the cycle of abuse.
* I wouldn't have learned how to properly heal.
* I wouldn't have raised my vibration and become an energetic match for my soul mate.
And so much more...
All the energetic stones I followed, all the times I listened to my intuition, have led me from there to here.
Every time it never made sense. Until it did.
Everything you are going through will probably not make sense at the time. It will probably hurt, frustrate you and you will want to ask WHY. You probably won't understand - until you do.
When you find yourself on the other side, everything you went through makes sense.
All the heartbreak All the turmoil All the sleepless nights All the kleenex All the ice cream
All the lessons lead to the most beautiful place
When the valleys are deep, and you dig deeper, the peaks are incredible. The healing journey isn't always pretty, but it is worth it!
There is so much beauty and abundance that is available to you, the key lies within the shift from "Why is this happening to me" to "How is this happening for me?"
It lies within the small steps you take each and every day to calibrate with the life of your desires.
It comes from the 1 degree shifts you make every day.
It comes from the knowing that you are inherently worthy.
It comes from having the courage to hold, love and accept your shadows.
It comes from making the decision, and trusting that you will be divinely supported (if it is the right decision, re-routed if it is not).
It comes from all this, and so much more.
But most importantly IT COMES FROM WITHIN YOU.
When you are ready, I am ready for you. I have multiple ways to work together!
Join Calibrate: Come home to yourself
My new self-love program. Inside, you will receive 8 modules (+2 Bonus Modules) to cultivate a beautiful relationship with yourself. This is a self-study program, with a private Facebook group for live support! I am also including a week of Voxer (voice/text app) support - access to me to dive into YOUR specific needs AND you will have LIFETIME access to all of these modules!!! You can also roll this investment into a 4 or 6 month private coaching package. Click the link for more details!
You can also book 1-1 private coaching with me! I have 4 or 6 month packages available. Click the link for more details!
Sending you love and light,
#lifeofbrie #gritandgracecoaching #femininerecovery #coachingforwomen #soulmatelove #loveafterdivorce
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