The metamorphosis

The version of ourselves that we are NOW, is not the same as who we were.

The version of ourselves that we are NOW, is not the same as who we will BE.

Every version of ourselves requires different motivations, different levels of production. But they all require permission, consistency, dedication and magnetism. What is our energy?

The thing that stops us from doing the thing is FEAR.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of change.

Fear of disappointment.

Truthfully, the version of me yesterday is not the version of me who I will be in ________.

The reason I left that blank, is because I have NO IDEA when that version of me will come.

But what I do know is she won't come if I keep doing the same thing. Einstein said "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same result."

I KNOW that she will come, when I give myself permission to manifest my dreams.

I KNOW she will come, when I show up and consistently and lead myself first.

I KNOW she will come, when I am dedicated to my happiness, my joy, my gratitude.

I KNOW she will come, when I am magnetic - to the love of life.

These are the pinnacles of what makes me me.

When one of these pillars is out of alignment, my whole wagon begins to wobble. The longer I am out of alignment I am, the more I wobble. Until eventually I fall.

Yesterday, I fell.

And honestly, I was ashamed to admit it. But then something beautiful happened. I said "I am allowed to be sad about this. I am allowed to feel like this isn't fair. I am allowed to cry." With this permission, and the company of my journal, I connected with the part of me who needed to rant, who needed to rave, and who needed to feel safe in order to to do so.

And then this poem came out of me. I haven't written ANYTHING since I was in high-school!

This is dedicated to anyone who has, or will ever have, a "Dark Night of the Soul".

In the darkness, there is no light.

The shadows lurk, waiting for their chance.

Filled with sorrow, she is unsure of how far she can continue.

It is only her, her thoughts, and the beating of her heart.

It is said it is always darkest before the dawn.

But it feels as thought it has been pitch black for weeks, months, years, a lifetime.

Has she been buried, forgotten? Are weeds growing over her mark?

Does anyone even notice?

In an instant everything changed.

The things she once knew, she could no longer know, in fear of treason.

The words once spoken freely, now clouded by the fear of interrogation.

It is always darkest before the dawn.

She falls silent and still.

The tears begin to well, as she speaks yet is not heard.

Her body feels heavy, as if she is carrying the weight of 1000 lifetimes.

She falls to her knees, begging for saving grace.

But nothing comes.

She has been here before.

She feels it in her bones.

Did she ever leave?

She must have, because it feels different this time.

Yes it's dark, but something is here that wasn't before.

Faith. Trust. Hope.

Suddenly, she knows the way.

Yet, she doesn't know how long her journey will take.

But she knows she must carry on.

Little by little, day by day, step by step, for as long as it takes.

The shadows begin to dance with her; a delicate rhythm of carefully orchestrated moves.

They flow together until they are harmonious.

They part ways with the hurt, and join with love.

She dances and dances until she thinks she can dance no more.

Until one more dance is required.

As she is spun around, everything begins to change.

Everything becomes brighter, bolder.

She realizes she was never truly alone.

She wasn't buried, nor forgotten.

She emerges different.

She feels lighter.

Yet wiser, calmer, sturdier.

She opens her eyes, and once again sees light.

The Dawn has come.

Written by: Brie Wittman 09.16.22