The Pot of Gold

I remember wondering how I got to that place, where I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror.

I remember wondering if I could ever "get myself back."

But the truth is I was scared.

So many times.

I couldn't walk away. I couldn't stay.

I had grown into that version of myself, not from an expansive space, but from a space of survival.

I was paralyzed by fear, until one day the fear was transmuted into strength. When the Universe zapped me, I was given a renewed purpose, a reason to fight back, and to finally decide that version of me could no longer exist. Then came the darkness.

The months after I left, was by far the darkest night of the soul I had yet.

In those months, I dug deeper into my traumas, my triggers to discover and rediscover who I was.

What did I like?

What didn't I like?

What did I desire for my future?

And if I truly desired happiness, who did I need to become in order to receive it?

Finding myself is a constant process. It takes continuing effort. Even on the days I don’t feel like it. It gets hard ...it gets messy, really messy. But you know what else it gets? Beautiful. F’ing beautiful. It brings strength. It brings power. It brings boundaries. I KNOW what I want. I KNOW how I deserve to be treated. I KNOW how to recognize my triggers, and effectively deal with them. They will always be there, but that doesn’t mean I need to pour my energy into their argument. It takes courage. Courage to face the fact that I may not always be right. Or know everything. Or that everything will magically get better with little to no effort on my part. It takes stamina - this is a marathon, not a race. It takes compassion, to be gentle with myself when I don’t feel enough. It takes love of my unique qualities, ambitions and qualities. I KNOW I am enough. I don’t need someone to complete me. I need someone who compliments me. Because I am STRONG. I am INDEPENDENT. And I am CAPABLE of amazing things.

When I was able to CHOOSE to step into this personal power AND continue to choose it, I found a pot of gold, the greatest love story of my life: my ever-growing self love.

Which led me to a pot of gold: my love story with my husband.

Which have led to moments and decisions which no doubt will birth their own gold when the time comes.

When I feel the doubt creep in (which in our human experience tends to do) I remember the story I heard from my mentor Melanie Ann Layer about pineapples 🍍

It can take 30 months for a pineapple to grow from seed to fruit. The same can be said for my goals, my dreams, my desires ❤️

And so can you! ♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆ My *new* coaching packages are launching today, and if you have ever wanted to work with me, it is a great time to jump in! I am offering 10% off my coaching for the month of September, you can view my everything here on my website. “There is NOTHING stronger than a woman who Rebuilt herself.”