The Path

We can often get caught up in "the art of lack". When things are going well, there can often be a sadness, or comparison. Perhaps it is because we are ego-driven beings. We forget what we once had because our brains block it out. Or perhaps we feel the lack because we KNOW we are destined for more. We KNOW we are within grasp of more abundance, and we become dismissive of what we already have. We judge our-self for dreaming big, because of conditioning that we have likely had our entire lives.

I have been here. For so long I faked happiness. I faked abundance. I cut myself off from all areas of abundance, because I didn't believe it actually existed for me. I saw other women succeeding and I was jealous. I was resentful. "It must be nice to_______" was a regular phrase out of my mouth. I compared myself to my friends, to my family, to my co-workers. I tried to create more abundance through forcing my masculine energy to take drastic control. I completely cut my feminine energy off, because it was the safe thing to do. When my feminine side came out, I was completely vulnerable, and unfortunately this meant being emotionally exploited. My defence mechanisms were to close off my emotions, shut my intimate desires down, to put up the electric fence to keep everyone out. To put on the "everything is ok" mask, when it was so clearly evident that it wasn't.

5 years ago, in 2016, I was months out from being married. I knew deep down I wasn't on the right path. I ignored my intuition because I didn't believe I deserved better. That is what I was conditioned to believe. I remember the day of my wedding, sobbing tears in the back of the limo. Scared shitless to go through with my vows. I could have walked away, but I couldn't. There were so many reasons I should have walked away and no one would have questioned me. But I didn't have the confidence or trust in myself to take those steps. I was married for just over 2 chaotic years. In those years, I began working on myself. I meditated, I began to journal and exercise. I listened to self-development podcasts and videos. I gained confidence, and my intuition began to tingle again. The more I healed, the more chaotic my marriage became yet I still wasn't able to fully exercise my personal power. But I decided to carry on. I had a taste of the abundance that could exist for me. I had no visible proof, other than the feeling in my gut.

2 years ago, I was recently out of marriage. I was confused, hurt and depressed. I was looking for validation in all the wrong places. The end was as chaotic as the beginning, and I was starting over for the 2nd time in my life. But something had shifted, and that something was my confidence. My dedication to myself and my healing. I hired coaches and poured everything I had into myself. I had dark nights of the soul. I had days where everything went right. I kept going. I made a promise to myself that I would never fear for my emotional safety ever again. I affirmed everyday that I was worthy of greatness.

1 year ago, I became the clearest I have ever been on what I desired for my life. I was centered on my soul's desires. I filled up my own cup first. I allowed myself to dream big. The pre-requisites for the life of my dreams. I figured out who I needed to be on the other end of the vibrational string. I began the practice of embodying those qualities.

I was tested in all areas of my life, and I learned how to feel through the emotions, sit in the fear and trust in divine timing. I became so in-tune with my feminine energy, but I still struggled to surrender some days. I felt I needed to be "doing" all the time. I constantly had a power struggle with where I spent my energy. When I stopped to notice I realized when I was my happiest is when I had the most success.

In the midst of a global pandemic, when all odds were seemingly against the world, I manifested my soul mate. I poured my energy into everything and anything that made me feel whole, feminine and ALIVE. I calibrated my energy to my desires and affirmed that I was open to all the abundance the universe could offer me. My life has profoundly changed and I have no doubt it is because of the unfathomable amount of trust I have instilled into myself.

3 months ago I allowed myself to dream even bigger. I saw specifics and details, and felt all the feels associated. I shared my dream with my coach. She reminded me today of how far I have come. From being the girl who was so scared she cut herself off from all happiness to the woman who is living the life of her dreams and isn't scared to dream bigger. My coach asked me if I realized my reality was my dream 3 months ago. What an incredible recognition to have. The life I dreamed of all those years ago, is my current experience and I know there is so much more that is available to me!

The moral of the story is this: whether you believe it is possible or not you are correct. Our thoughts are magnets for our desires, so we can plant a garden of seeds or weeds. The power is in our hands.

Allow your dreams to be as big as you can - there is always room for expansion!

I am celebrating us all tonight, and our futures that are being written as we show up in gratitude for our present experience!

If you resonate with me, I would love to invite you to a private coaching experience with me! I have many available packages to suit your needs!